There’s this narrative everywhere from Dan Savage columns to television (from A to B, I know) that goes like this: “Men have a “natural” sex drive, and can’t control how they feel sexually, which is why they’ll get bored with you once you’re married and then divorce you for a younger woman. It’s your job to stay as young-looking as you can, but your partner will inevitably stop being attracted to you as you get old, saggy and boring.”
Then there’s the other narrative that goes “You need to be Sexxeeee regardless of how you feel personally, because you are in competition with models, strippers and college co-eds, and your partner is fantasizing about trading up, even if he doesn’t say so. He may stay with you for the sake of the kids, but he’s really longing for no-consequences sex with cheerleaders.”
This seems right to me: that is, I think the commenter is right that this cultural wisdom exists, and I think that these particular cultural nuggets do reflect something true about male sexuality (whether natural or cultural, I don't know). Obviously this is depressing, even devastating, for women. Are any of my readers (both of them male, I think, and one of them my husband) willing to say she's wrong?
1 comment:
No, she's definitely right. And I could definitely use some no-consequence sex with a cheerleader right now.
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